March 5, 2010Katie


Something I’ve pondered over many times in the past few years. 

“Pondered”.  I never used that word before meeting Mr. Wonderful.  He’s a “pondering” type of guy.

When I was a young girl, say, teenager years, I had dear friends who I spent every free minute with.  Friends who I thought would be around for life.  That is, until we all moved halfway across the country, and experienced different lives, heartbreaks, experiences, family beginnings and whatever else life threw at us.

I find myself now in my forties. 


Asking myself, who would you call your closest friend(s)?

I’m not sure why this is so important to me.  Maybe because we’ve spent the last 7 years of our lives devoted to youth.  Which means, that our friends have been youth leaders in age ranging from 18-25. Or else, teenagers are our friends.  I love these friends dearly, but, let’s face it, most of them don’t know an eighties band! Sometimes you need friends from your own era.  Sometimes you need friends to be your mentors, your spiritual age of sorts.

Maybe it was on reflecting on the girls, who I once thought I’d never lose touch with, and realizing that sometimes distance causes …


One thing for sure that I know.  I am searching for a close friendship or friendships.  Ones that will lead me to friends that will be with me through thick and thin.  Friends that will laugh with me as well as cry.  Friends that give me encouragement but will also love me enough to let me know when I’m a knucklehead.  Friends that will not just agree with me, but will lift me up, especially spiritually.

Because I’ve learned that “Yes” women, are not necessarily your best friends.  It’s those who will kick you in the tail and let you know when you’re wrong.  Those are the ones who are worth keeping around, even when you want to toss em’ to the curb.

“A friend loveth at all times” Proverbs 17:7

Not just when you’re having fun.  But even when you may disagree.  Even when you’re going through storms and the winds blowing and the hail’s beating on the windows (remember, I live in Oklahoma).  They are the ones who sit you down, toss a rain slicker over you, and pray you through to the other side.  They hang with you until the sun shines again and then they gently help you out the door to feel the warmth on your uplifted face.

I recently posted a post on Facebook asking…what do you think is a true friend?  Here is a sampling of what I received back:

  • A true friend is there for you when you need them…whether it’s to laugh and have fun…or to cry over the loss of a loved one…or a lost relationship… To be supportive even when they know you are making a wrong decision…and then are there to help pick up the pieces when it does go wrong… A true friend…is your friend not only through the fun and good times…but also through the sad and tough times… 
  • A true friend is someone who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out! 
  • a true friend always returns 
  • A true friend is someone that you can not talk to for a year and then pick right back up with no problem… someone that tells you you look ugly before you go somewhere. someone who isn’t afraid to tell you there opinion. Someone who doesn’t ever offend you or ever get offended. 
  • I agree with parts of everyone. I know that for me it means someone that luvs me enough to tell me the really hard stuff knowing that it hurts both of you! Thgs said in luv not n condemnation! And def being there when all the junk falls around u even when they warned u it would! 
  • Yep, everyone has some good stuff here… I count you a TRUE friend (Tahiti Club) b/c you were one of the FEW who called to check on me in my nearly year long “tragedy”. There were many dark and lonely times that I don’t think most people CAN understand unless they’ve experienced it, too. I think you were better at it, b/c of your own … See Moreexperiences. Most of my friends, did not call. I do know they have their own lives and cared face-to-face, so I don’t mean to sound critical. But I think it was your example that has also encouraged me to try to connect better with other gals in my circle that go through tough times… you are friend and mentor… betcha didn’t know… 🙂 
  • Someone that completely and totally accepts you. As is. And loves and respects you even though you’re so completely flawed. 
  • Someone who knows exactly who you are and loves you anyway! 
  • A friend is always there when you need them!
  • Short and Sweet~ There ALWAYS, thru thick & thin!

 I realized that the theme of these answers was one thing. 

Unconditional love.

And can I add one thing?  Here is my one brilliant philosophy. 

In the age of technology and progressive movement forward, true friends call each other.  Or better yet, they meet in person.  They fellowship, they talk.

Friendships dependant on text messaging and Facebook messages?  Sorry, but there is a thing called relationship.  True relationship is more than a digital image on a phone or computer.  And hello? I work in Information Technology, so this is a breakthrough for me…if you only text me, you’re obviously not interested in a relationship or a true friendship.

Are we really too busy to talk to someone we care about?  Did you know the average American watches 3-5 hours of TV/day?  That translates into 10 years of your life watching TV if you live to the ripe old age of 80. 

Are you kidding me?   TEN years? What a waste..Lord, please help not waste my life…

Surely we can give someone we love, whether it be our family or our friends some time instead of that?

Another breakthrough thought – my relationship with my Creator needs to be spent on quality time, not a text message  It should be the same with our friends.

How are your relationships today?

Like me, do you need to re-evaluate the time you spend off the computer and TV and put some more time into building what really counts?


How are yours today?


  • Cheryl

    March 5, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    This is a lovely post, Katie!

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